Testimonies - Wendy

I first became aware that Jesus was alive and knew me personally, loved me and would be with me forever when I was 19. I am now 50 and the events I describe below happened 31 years ago.

I was suffering from severe mental depresion. I had left college in Wolverhampton having tried to take my own life. I was at home with my parents and sister who were very kind but extremely worried about losing me. I could see no hope. I was desperate, trapped, lonely and isolated in my torment. The psychiatrist had recommended I be admitted to psychiatric hospital but my parents said they would look after me at home. My parents were not practising Christians and I knew nothing about faith, all religion seemed to go straight over my head. I didn't understand any of it from school assemblies, but knew the Lord's Prayer off by heart as we all did. One day my mother was at a loss as to how to help me, nothing seemed to get through and she had the idea to contact the vicar who had married them 25 years earlier. He visited and chatted to me, I don't remember much but he left a small piece of scripture on the kitchen table when he left. I found this later on in the afternoon and read it and as the words about God's love for us went into my head the Lord filled me with his Holy Spirit. I knew for the first time I was not alone, Jesus loved me, was with me and would never leave me. I was released from the deadly depression that had kept me in a very dangerous place and I was healed in the amount of time it took to read the tract. I ran from room to room putting my hands on the walls and declaring that I was not alone any more and then I phoned my friend and told her that I had met God.

My walk with the Lord has taken leaps and bounds forward at different times in my life. I've often learnt the hard way, by going the worng way, I've had other dark valleys when the enemy of all Christians, Satan, convinced me that Jesus had left me. This was one of the most terrifying times of my life and nearly stole my sanity again and my family and everything I hold dear. Many in LlCF knew me at this time but in spite of the 2 months of mental hell Jesus had hold of my life and He again brought me through whist equipping me with His word of truth that has always been the last word. I don't fully understand these dark depressions that i've been through that have been so life threatening, but I do know that Jesus has made me alive and turned all the darkness into light and taken a lot of the rubbish out of my life during His delivery of me.